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About the Blog...

There's always a virtual being with us with whom we talk, we fight, shout, cry... and most of the time this apparition is our own image but with a little modified mentality working out as an antidote for their anecdotes. My Apparition is not an image of me, but of a person whom I can never forget in my life, and whom I have lost in the long run. This blog is dedicated to that apparition. A medium for me to replicate my evolving thoughts into words...
Enjoy your stay here :)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Yes... I Got My Life Back



They said go for a long walk, you will feel better. I did the same and walked till I reached the horizon. Neither I was feeling better nor was the myriad road ending. Exhausted and frustrated I turned back, and as fast as I could, ran towards the point from where I started. My lungs were gasping for air and my tubes were wheezing. But I didn’t stop, kept running and accelerating. Everything in front of me started getting bleak and I collapsed.

They said go for a hiking, the height will excite you. I tied my shoe laces, pulled up my sleeves and climbed up to the pinnacle of the largest cliff that I had ever known. I amassed every bit of courage left in me to subjugate my acrophobic self and looked down the cliff. All I saw was a steep acreage leading to nothing but a ranch. Neither was I excited nor was I getting any ooze of adrenaline, rather was chafed. Dejected I jumped off the cliff to let gravity take control of me and within fraction of a second I surged towards the base.

They said go for a dive, the water will soothe your mind. I attired myself with all the instruments right from my head to feet and carrying a weight equal to half of mine jumped into the lapse of the blue saline. Neither was I feeling the water nor my mind was feeling lighter. All I felt was chocked, chocked by the wetsuit, chocked by the numerical calculations of SPG, depth gauge, timing device.  Thriving for freedom I took out all the devices and the breathing kit. The brine gushed down my nostrils and filled my lungs.

They said forget the past and move on in life, time heals everything. I did the same, put aside everything and started a new life. Pretended as if nothing happened, pretended as if the past was just an apparition. Said to myself that, that was the way to live life. But neither was I forgetting the past not was able to keep it out of my mind. Rather was pale and losing the zeal to live life. And one day I broke the walls of confinement, took my phone and dialed the combination of figures I was unable to forget. The time stopped there, all numb.

Though late but I came to know that I felt better when I was craving for oxygen while I was running, fighting for each ounce of air for survival. Though late but I came to know that excitement was not in those long hours of hiking but was in those few moments when I was falling down, when the upward thrust was trying to tear me up. Though late but I came to know that diving with protection didn't soothe my mind, but my mind felt calm when the water filled my lungs and reached my brain. Though late I came to know that life can’t be lived by being a coward, but by facing it, fighting with the past.

That moment when I gained my senses after collapsing, I realized that I got my life back. That moment when I ended up on a heap of foliage after jumping off the cliff, I realized that I got my life back.That moment when the fishermen pumped out all the water from my lungs, I realized I got my life back. And that day, after the call, after I spoke what I wanted, all those things that were deep buried in me, I realized that I got my life back. Yes… I got my life back and it is with me, holding my hand, like the way it used to do.

18 comments:

  1. Whoaa..it was really an adventurous post.Nicely penned.Wish I could get my life back in the days to come..

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    1. every1 gets it back... just in the rite tym

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  2. if you call it your life, you should know that it has been with you always... when you were walking to the horizon and running back, when you were climbing the cliff and jumping back down and when you dived in and let the water choke you. and you should know it'll be with you... always. and i of all people know how much your life wanted you to realize you had it all along and that you weren't a walking dead. life's too short to hate but too long to love.

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    1. I realized that I had a life when i was on the verge of losing it... I got it back and I am never gonna leave it... I will never leave you life ;)

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  3. Yes… You got your life back and it is with you, holding your hand, like the way it used to do.But because of Almighty you got your life back . Thanks to Almighty and pray Him.
    "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return."
    JazakAllah Khayr : جزاك اللهُ خيراً‎
    “Allâh will reward you [with] goodness.”

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    1. Yeah you are right... I am thankful to God

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  4. Aila! finally.. See you should always talk and things will be back on track you will be happy again! :) have fun! stay happy

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    1. Wrote it on stone... will do this everytym :)

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  5. Woah! Mind Blowing Post!
    I felt like I went on a journey with you.

    Looks like you learnt the lessons of life? ;) :D.
    The post is extremely beautiful :D And Poetic :D :).
    Loved each and every bit of it :).

    Cheers on getting your life back ;) :D.

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    1. Thanks Poo... I am happy that u loved it :)... more happier coz i got my life back :D

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  6. Amzing post :D
    Really loved . Keep writing.

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  7. Wow, very intense and finely stated post. I can s=connect with the various comparisons that you made. There is definitely something more to life when one gears up to face the worst fears.

    Very well written :)

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  8. failure is the key to early success in achieving whatever we dream, keep the spirit

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  9. Awesome post!!! It's true that running away from problems will do nothing. No matter how hard it is but facing the problems upfront is the best solution.

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  10. Wow...... nice and inspiring post. Do keep writing........ :)

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  11. swatishree patnaikMay 26, 2012 at 1:31 AM

    Bhai this one z breathtakingly beautiful...felt like read one complete love story...So you are good writter...aan haan...

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